Fish Out of Water

Grumble grumble

Apparently I have a "spirited child." Have you heard of this? It's one author's way of describing kids that are challenging not because they have ADD or some other medical diagnosis - they are just more of everything. More excitable, more sensitive, more emotional, just more. For the past few months I have been at the end of my rope with my older daughter. She just wears me down. My mom recommended this book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" and said the descriptions of the kids fit my daughter to a T. So I just got the book from her and I'm going to start reading it tonight.

Normally I don't read parenting books but in this case I am striking out. She knows exactly which of my buttons to push and I end up dreading the activities we have planned together because I'm afraid she is going to be a huge pain in my ass. And then I get very sad for thinking of her that way. Instead of thinking of her with a smile on my face because of what a spectacular kid she is - which she IS! - I am thinking, OY, how long is this day going to last before she's asleep and I can relax. And that is not how I want to be thinking of my daughter. I also don't exactly know when this all started. I remember it didn't use to be this way. It used to be really fun to do stuff with her, and I didn't wonder in which way we she going to annoy me this time. I hate feeling that way. I want to enjoy her again.

The other kicker is that the moms of her friends all tell me how great she is. Well behaved, great manners, so pleasant to have over to their houses. So I know this is something between the two of us. I hope this book has something intelligent to say, and that I can find some way to manufacture the patience I know I'm going to need in order to change the way I am dealing with her. Because I don't want to be her mean mom who just gets mad all the time. I also want to be her fun mom who shows her how much I love her, each day. I guess I'm a bit surprised at how hard that is. It should be easy to show your kid you love them. It shouldn't take so much work.

Oh, and guess what else happened today: I threw out my back. Good times.

Wow, it's been almost a month since I posted

I didn't even realize how much time went by. But one thing that has interrupted my posting is that my husband got a new computer so he gave me his old one, and I don't have all my Favorites set up yet, and it also gets really cranky with USB devices, so it's been a headache to use it. My response to that irritation has been to pretty much ignore the computer altogether. Hence no posting to the blog.

We had two more birthdays since my last post: my older daughter turned 5, and I turned 33. Our birthdays are 11 days apart. I remember celebrating my 28th birthday with the world's most enormous belly. Then, of course, when I was pregnant with the second one, my belly got about twice as big. So we had a pleasant birthday dinner for me, just the 4 of us, at a Thai restaurant, which was nice and mellow. And I got myself a new food processor as a gift. Woo-hoo! There was also a white gold and citrine necklace and pendant I wanted, but I went with the more practical gift. Definitely a sign of getting older.

For the 5-year-old, we did something much more exciting: birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. OY. Never again. I know she was happy, but I was totally overwhelmed. Also I must sheepishly admit I was a little embarrassed by the whole thing. Like I was afraid the other parents would be like, UGH, why did she let her kid have it here. But the kids had fun and my daughter was thrilled. And that is of course ultimately the most important part. But my husband and I ended up with spectacular headaches afterward.

We are now full speed ahead working toward our first vacation in what feels like about three years. We are going to Maui for a week. I can't wait! We leave a week from this Friday. We are also bookending the trip with a few days in CA to visit my in-laws. They are actually coming with us to Maui too. We rented a condo, and they will provide free child care so the hubby and I can sneak off on our own. Woo-hoo! Lots of people are like, wow, I would never go on vacation with my in-laws. But really, I am looking forward to it. They rarely get to see their granddaughters and they are so easy to vacation with. We went to France with them a few years ago and it was lovely. Mostly we just need a break. 2007 was a super tough year, and we are still detoxing from it, three months into 2008. A tropical relaxing trip is just what we need.

I am also happy because spring is definitely on its way. We're still getting some chilly days, don't get me wrong, but the wonderful sweet smell of spring is in the air, and once that has sprung there is no turning back. Our bulbs are coming up in the front yard. I do wish we had planted more this past fall, but at least we have the ones from two years ago. They will be very pretty. I am also looking forward to starting to run again, after three years of sitting on my ass. I hope I can make it happen. I do love to run. I'd like to build back up to the mile I used to run. How peaceful and relaxing that was.

So I'm off to do some housework and relax and imagine myself stretching out on a sparkling white beach.....divine!

It's as if I have a whole new job

I work for a consulting firm, so we all move from project to project and client to client. Depending on the project and the client, you could stay somewhere for years or move around a lot. I've only been at this job since September, and until this week I was working on our main municipal government contract. I worked on two major projects and learned a TON. But a few weeks ago I was told I was going to be moved to a different client - our biggest client, in fact - a large firm in the healthcare sciences field. I was excited because it's always good to work with different people and learn new things, and since those other two projects had basically ended, it was a good time for me to make a transition.

So I started this past Monday, and it couldn't be more different from the old gig. Each of our client relationships has a particular sort of character - at some clients we seem more like consultants, and at others it's as if we work there as part of the staff. This new gig is much more like I actually work there, so it really does feel like I just got a new job again. This week has been all about learning about the project - which is very hard because of constant use of acronyms and abbreviations, as well as a business process that is quite complex. Also I got my new laptop and phone set up, and I have my own cubicle with my name on it. And yes, because I am a huge dork, having my name on it gives me a litle thrill. I've never had my name on an office before!

I am really hoping to make a positive impact on the project and make everyone happy to have me there. I guess we'll see how it all goes!

My four-year-old is.......engaged?

For several months I've been hearing about my daughter's best friend at school, a little boy we'll call Ernie. Each day she'd come home and when we'd ask her how her day went and who she played with, her answer was always the same: "Ernie." Then one day, out of the blue, she said to me, "Mommy, Ernie and I are engaged. He's my fiance." I didn't quite know what to make of that, so I just said OK and figured I'd either hear more about it some other time or never hear about it again.

Sure enough, this kept going - always the little stories about Ernie, always he was the only one she played with at school. They would either play Star Wars - she would be Princess Leia and he would be Luke Skywalker - or they would play Mermaidia (a movie about mermaids put out by the Barbie people in an attempt to bring down the fortress of Disney Princess). So we'd ask her if they were still engaged and she would giggle and say with a little coy roll of the eyes, yes Mommy, we're going to get married when we grow up.

A few weeks ago my husband picked her up at school and called me in the car as I was driving home. "Here, talk to your daughter," he said, and put her on the phone. "Hi sweetie, what's going on?" "Guess what, Mommy! Ernie kissed me today!" ...... "Oh, wow, that's, um, interesting. And what did you do?" "I kissed him back, silly!" Giggle, giggle, giggle. "Where did this happen?" "Under the slide on the playground."

My daughter isn't even five yet and she's already kissing boys. OK, boy, but still! I didn't kiss a boy until I was 14! And no one proposed to me until I was 23! She is waaaay ahead of me already. WOW. I guess what they say is right: kids grow up a lot faster these days.

Last weekend we decided to invite Ernie over for a play date. I wanted to get to know his mom and I knew my daughter had been wanting to have him over for a long time. My husband and I had tea and scones with his mom and really enjoyed hanging out with her. Of course the first thing she said when she sat down was, "So, you know they're engaged, right?" I actually thought this was interesting because part of me was starting to wonder if it wasn't just the imaginings of a very creative little girl. But no, clearly it is mutual because HE told his parents too! She wasn't aware of the kissing so we told her about that. We all had several good laughs about it, and then at some point the play date got very quiet. You know what that means, right?

NAKED!!!!!!! My husband went up to check on them and they were parading around upstairs naked as jaybirds. They actually ran into the bathroom and hid behind the toilet when he showed up. The first thing Ernie said when they were caught was: "It was her idea." And you know what? It was! She came downstairs and gleefully admitted that it was indeed her idea. And grinned from ear to ear as she stifled yet another giggle.

I'll let you know when the wedding is. I wonder if she'll decide to go with white or cream.

Toddler! (Well, she will be when she toddles)

Yesterday was my baby's first birthday! So I guess technically she is no longer a baby. Are kids officially toddlers when they turn 1, or when they actually start to toddle? She can toddle if someone holds both of her hands. She can stand while holding on with one hand, or leaning her chest against something. I can see how much she wants to stand on her own, she's just not quite there yet. Probably a few more weeks for that. I'm figuring she'll be walking in a couple of months. Maybe she'll surprise me and do it sooner. I guess we'll find out soon enough. I remember her big sister could stand without holding on at about 10 months, and she walked at exactly a year. So this one has a couple months to go yet.

We sang her happy birthday and went to brunch but she didn't know the difference. I had really good French toast! The birthday girl was cranky by that point and spent most of the meal yelling and throwing food on the floor. Her big sister whined a lot. It was a pretty typical day with two tired parents and two little girls.

It has been a busy and crazy year since she was born. I can't imagine life without her. Happy birthday sweetie! You should start talking soon so we can finally understand all the stuff you've been telling us.......

A fun weekend, and a new sport

I was reading a post on my sister's blog about the fun weekend that she and her husband had - they sure do live a different life than we do! They live in Mexico City and have opportunities to go to all kinds of beautiful places and do things like sit by pools and sip tequila. I have to live vicariously through her by reading her blog because my weekends are so the opposite of that!

Our weekend was also lovely though. On Friday I knocked off work a little early and we all relaxed at home, which was so nice after a long busy week at work. Saturday my husband went out in the morning and I hung out with the girls. We were going to go to the grocery store, but instead the baby conked out and the big girl and I watched cooking shows together, wrote down recipes, read books, and cuddled in the living room. When the daddy got home, I took the big girl to the grocery store and accidentally spent over $20 on vanilla extract. My reasoning was that I should get a lot so I wouldn't run out, and that I should get a high-quality kind so my baking would taste good. I did not realize it meant I was going to spend over $20! Oh well. Maybe it will give me a good excuse to bake more.

That evening my husband and I were scheduled to go to my company's holiday party. Yes, I know, a holiday party in January? But it's much easier to get more people there after the craziness that is December. This way there were lots of people (we have about 90 people working at our branch office) and it really was fun. The party was at a fancy country club not far from our house, and the food was amazing. First there were butlered hors d'oeuvres for about an hour and a half, and then there was a sit-down dinner and dancing. At first no one danced, so the boss and his wife had to get up and get the crowd going. The band was really good, but I guess no one told them it was a party for a bunch of computer nerds. It was kind of a tough room. Eventually people did get up, and then apparently one guy suddenly busted out into this fancy breakdancing move that involved spinning on his back on the floor, but wouldn't you know it, I missed it because I was in the ladies room. Doh!

Sunday morning the hubby took the girls to the laundromat we own, so he could collect the quarters from the machines and restock the vending machines. I took that opportunity to bake a lemon bundt cake for the dinner we were going to at a friend's house that evening. I had found the recipe in Cook's Illustrated and was really looking forward to making it. The batter came together beautifully and I thought it was going to be great. NOPE. After the appointed baking time I went to check on it and the inside was raw. RAW. I kept checking on it and leaving it in a little longer, and a little longer, until I finally took it out and saw that it could not be salvaged. Raw on the inside, burnt on the outside. No good. I think the problem was that I used a silicone pan and it really needs to be done in a metal pan. Oh well! Was a bummer though, I thought it was a great recipe. I better try it again with a different pan. So we had to go to the grocery store and get a cake to bring to the dinner.

But after that, we did a super cool thing: I took my daughter to her very first ice skating lesson. A few weeks ago we were watching TV and we found some figure skating to watch. She was mesmerized. She said she wanted to learn how, so I signed her up for a few individual lessons since she had never been on skates before in her life. So yesterday was her first. She was amazing! She did fall down a lot, as anybody would their first time on skates, but she kept getting back up on her feet, and the instructor taught her how to put her arms out and stand up on her own. She was able to move slowly across the ice by herself a few times, and by the end of the lesson she had begun to get her "ice legs." I was so proud of her! So I think we'll do a few more individual lessons and then if she really wants to continue, we'll get her into the kids' group lessons on Sundays. Should be a hoot! The instructor told me they also teach adults so I thought well maybe I could learn too, since I'm going to have to be at the rink anyway! Haha, I know that's kind of funny, but honestly the few times in my life I have gone skating I've really enjoyed it and always wished I could learn how to really do it. So we shall see.

Now it's Monday and it's freaking cold here. But I guess that is to be expected in January.

I haven't posted in forever

It's not entirely my fault. I wrote this really great post a week or so ago and then my Internet connection died just as I was posting it. Doh. So then I got annoyed for a while and didn't feel like posting. But I'm back.

Been a crazy few weeks. The post I lost was all about the adventure I had at the hospital on December 27. I had to have a minor surgical procedure, which itself went well, but I must have had a bad reaction to the anaesthesia because after the surgery I went to the bathroom and after sitting on the toilet, the next thing I knew, they were picking me up off the floor saying, "You passed out!" I then spent a few hours alternately throwing up and sleeping, and then had a crashing headache. By that time they had decided to keep me overnight for observation, and then I got a CAT scan for good measure, just to make sure I hadn't sustained a concussion when keeling over off the toilet onto the hard tile floor (I hadn't). I got to go home the next morning and I looked a little battered - cut on my cheek, bruises on my chin and arms (one huge gross one that was so yucky I got the nurse to cover it with gauze), and just feeling generally lousy. I spent most of that day in bed, and then the next day we had 30 people in our house for a huge 60th birthday party for my mom! It was fun but it was kind of exhausting especially after that ridiculous ordeal.

But I'm fine now. All better. New Year's Eve was quite wonderful, partly because I was so happy to be saying goodbye to 2007 and partly because I got to spend the evening with my spectacular husband. We got a sitter for the girls and we went out to a fantastic French bistro dinner including champagne, oysters and fabulous food. Then we wandered around the city until the fireworks over the Delaware River, which were beautiful. It was such a special evening.

So now here we are in 2008. I realized today that what I hope for this year is not ecstatic happiness or towering riches or anything to excess. I just hope for progress and contentment. That is my hope for this year. I do not make New Year's resolutions, so I have none of those, but I wish all of you the same good fortune for this year. (Also thanks again for hanging around my blog. It's nice to know the three - or so - of you are out there.)

Aaaaagh, or why I love being a homeowner

A few nights ago I was putting my older daughter to bed. As she was changing into her PJs I noticed a puddle of water on the floor next to her bed. Immediately I assumed she had spilled something and not told me. "What is that?" I demanded. "I don't know, Mommy," she said, the picture of innocence. "Seriously, you need to tell me what that is." "I really don't know, Mommy. I didn't do anything!" I was a bit impatient and edgy that night already and I almost started yelling (always a good thing to do with your wide-eyed and wonderful 4-year-old!) but then a little voice in my head told me to look up at the ceiling. OY. There was water coming out of the ceiling and dripping onto the floor.

I ran to get my husband and he quickly determined that the toilet in the third floor bathroom was leaking, and had filled up some amount of space in her ceiling with water. Being a somewhat nervous person around leaks and someone who has had just about enough of surprising and expensive disasters this year, I freaked out a bit. But then my daughter started to freak out so I had to go calm her down. My much smarter husband got his trusty Leatherman tool and a large soup pot, poked a hole in the ceiling and let the built-up water drain out into the pot. He thinks the leak is in the small pipe that takes clean water from the pipes to the toilet, so at least it's not raw sewage that is leaking into her room. Our noses would have told us in five seconds if that was the case.

We've been a tad busy since we discovered the leak so we haven't done anything about it yet. There's still a hole in the ceiling and a pot on the floor. Our daughter is now sleeping in the twin bed in her sister's room, so there's really no sense of urgency to get this fixed. Although I suppose she might want to go back in her room eventually. That twin bed was kind of an afterthought in that room and we don't use it very much, but it sure is coming in handy now.

So yay, there's a hole in my house! Thank goodness the leak wasn't worse and didn't make the ceiling open and send freezing water and pieces of sheetrock onto my precious daughter's face as she slept. That would have just about made me plotz.

Eh.....

Winter is starting. It's dark really early at night. I've had a cold for like ever. I'm sinking into the winter blahs. Also I realized I haven't taken a vacation in a couple of years really - I used up all my paid vacation time on maternity leave at my old job, and before that, I went on a 10-day trip to California while 7 months pregnant, so that really wasn't a full-blown vacation. I haven't had time to just relax in so long. I'm feeling a little tired.

But everything is fine, everyone is good. I'm sitting in my dining room, looking at a beautiful fire in the wood stove, hanging out with my husband, while the girls sleep soundly upstairs. There's really nothing to complain about. But nothing going on either.

Teeth and Pumpkin Pie

Well the first exciting thing to say is that the baby has two very lovely teeth! The two front bottom ones, just like her big sister's first two. She doesn't seem at all distressed by them either, which is great. Tonight it was so cute to watch her practice chewing. We gave her some little cubes of tofu which she enjoyed very much.

Yesterday I made one of my famous pumpkin pies to bring to my office - yes, I did it to ingratiate myself to my new co-workers - and I had some extra filling left over that didn't fit in the pie shell, so I poured it into small ramekins and made two pumpkin custards. I shared mine with the baby and she thought it was the greatest thing ever. She would finish one bite and open her mouth to get some more. When I told her we had eaten it all up she cried. Go Mom! I took the pie to work today and it was a hit. I was actually not thrilled with the crust but at least it tasted good.

Speaking of crust, I am having some crust issues and I'm not sure what to do about them. You may recall a posting here about a month ago with a photo of a very nice apple pie I made with Ina Garten's crust recipe. That crust was absolutely perfect - it came together quickly and rolled out great. I was thrilled because I thought it meant all my crust problems had been solved. But then last weekend I made that recipe again and it came out all wrong. The butter got all weird and melty, and didn't hold all the flour together the way it's supposed to. I had to toss it and try again, and the second one was much better but still not as easy as the first time with the great apple pie. So I tried the "Foolproof Pie Crust" recipe from Cook's Illustrated and was all prepared for it to be the answer to my problems. And you know what? It was worse! It never did come together - I've never seen such a crumbly crust - and when it baked it got all hard and weird. Tasted OK but working with it was incredibly difficult. So I think I'm going to go back to Ina's recipe for this week's holiday pies and hope it goes as well as it did the first time I tried it. Luckily we have a ton of flour and butter in the house so I have room for some mistakes. I will try to get my camera to start working so I can post some yummy Thanksgiving photos!