Grumble grumble

Apparently I have a "spirited child." Have you heard of this? It's one author's way of describing kids that are challenging not because they have ADD or some other medical diagnosis - they are just more of everything. More excitable, more sensitive, more emotional, just more. For the past few months I have been at the end of my rope with my older daughter. She just wears me down. My mom recommended this book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" and said the descriptions of the kids fit my daughter to a T. So I just got the book from her and I'm going to start reading it tonight.

Normally I don't read parenting books but in this case I am striking out. She knows exactly which of my buttons to push and I end up dreading the activities we have planned together because I'm afraid she is going to be a huge pain in my ass. And then I get very sad for thinking of her that way. Instead of thinking of her with a smile on my face because of what a spectacular kid she is - which she IS! - I am thinking, OY, how long is this day going to last before she's asleep and I can relax. And that is not how I want to be thinking of my daughter. I also don't exactly know when this all started. I remember it didn't use to be this way. It used to be really fun to do stuff with her, and I didn't wonder in which way we she going to annoy me this time. I hate feeling that way. I want to enjoy her again.

The other kicker is that the moms of her friends all tell me how great she is. Well behaved, great manners, so pleasant to have over to their houses. So I know this is something between the two of us. I hope this book has something intelligent to say, and that I can find some way to manufacture the patience I know I'm going to need in order to change the way I am dealing with her. Because I don't want to be her mean mom who just gets mad all the time. I also want to be her fun mom who shows her how much I love her, each day. I guess I'm a bit surprised at how hard that is. It should be easy to show your kid you love them. It shouldn't take so much work.

Oh, and guess what else happened today: I threw out my back. Good times.

Comments

[Heather]

Heh!! Welcome back!

I'm interested to hear how you like the book. I'm thinking my daughter may be a bit on the spirited side as well...

[SusieJ]

I've told j. that I can't carry him for a week because my back is really bothering me. I hope it's that a month without yoga that did it.

The good thing about Miss P's spiritedness it that should should get through life without taking any guff from anyone. Well, we can hope.

[Stephanie G.]

I have two kids who fall into the "spirited" category, which is really incredible, because I was apparently, the most laid back and compliant of children.
My son has really put us through our paces and we finally are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. (He is 4 and a half)
(Hey, I am experiencing deja vous - I think the first time I posted a comment on your blog was about this very issue!)