Fish Out of Water

Grumble grumble

Apparently I have a "spirited child." Have you heard of this? It's one author's way of describing kids that are challenging not because they have ADD or some other medical diagnosis - they are just more of everything. More excitable, more sensitive, more emotional, just more. For the past few months I have been at the end of my rope with my older daughter. She just wears me down. My mom recommended this book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" and said the descriptions of the kids fit my daughter to a T. So I just got the book from her and I'm going to start reading it tonight.

Normally I don't read parenting books but in this case I am striking out. She knows exactly which of my buttons to push and I end up dreading the activities we have planned together because I'm afraid she is going to be a huge pain in my ass. And then I get very sad for thinking of her that way. Instead of thinking of her with a smile on my face because of what a spectacular kid she is - which she IS! - I am thinking, OY, how long is this day going to last before she's asleep and I can relax. And that is not how I want to be thinking of my daughter. I also don't exactly know when this all started. I remember it didn't use to be this way. It used to be really fun to do stuff with her, and I didn't wonder in which way we she going to annoy me this time. I hate feeling that way. I want to enjoy her again.

The other kicker is that the moms of her friends all tell me how great she is. Well behaved, great manners, so pleasant to have over to their houses. So I know this is something between the two of us. I hope this book has something intelligent to say, and that I can find some way to manufacture the patience I know I'm going to need in order to change the way I am dealing with her. Because I don't want to be her mean mom who just gets mad all the time. I also want to be her fun mom who shows her how much I love her, each day. I guess I'm a bit surprised at how hard that is. It should be easy to show your kid you love them. It shouldn't take so much work.

Oh, and guess what else happened today: I threw out my back. Good times.

Wow, it's been almost a month since I posted

I didn't even realize how much time went by. But one thing that has interrupted my posting is that my husband got a new computer so he gave me his old one, and I don't have all my Favorites set up yet, and it also gets really cranky with USB devices, so it's been a headache to use it. My response to that irritation has been to pretty much ignore the computer altogether. Hence no posting to the blog.

We had two more birthdays since my last post: my older daughter turned 5, and I turned 33. Our birthdays are 11 days apart. I remember celebrating my 28th birthday with the world's most enormous belly. Then, of course, when I was pregnant with the second one, my belly got about twice as big. So we had a pleasant birthday dinner for me, just the 4 of us, at a Thai restaurant, which was nice and mellow. And I got myself a new food processor as a gift. Woo-hoo! There was also a white gold and citrine necklace and pendant I wanted, but I went with the more practical gift. Definitely a sign of getting older.

For the 5-year-old, we did something much more exciting: birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. OY. Never again. I know she was happy, but I was totally overwhelmed. Also I must sheepishly admit I was a little embarrassed by the whole thing. Like I was afraid the other parents would be like, UGH, why did she let her kid have it here. But the kids had fun and my daughter was thrilled. And that is of course ultimately the most important part. But my husband and I ended up with spectacular headaches afterward.

We are now full speed ahead working toward our first vacation in what feels like about three years. We are going to Maui for a week. I can't wait! We leave a week from this Friday. We are also bookending the trip with a few days in CA to visit my in-laws. They are actually coming with us to Maui too. We rented a condo, and they will provide free child care so the hubby and I can sneak off on our own. Woo-hoo! Lots of people are like, wow, I would never go on vacation with my in-laws. But really, I am looking forward to it. They rarely get to see their granddaughters and they are so easy to vacation with. We went to France with them a few years ago and it was lovely. Mostly we just need a break. 2007 was a super tough year, and we are still detoxing from it, three months into 2008. A tropical relaxing trip is just what we need.

I am also happy because spring is definitely on its way. We're still getting some chilly days, don't get me wrong, but the wonderful sweet smell of spring is in the air, and once that has sprung there is no turning back. Our bulbs are coming up in the front yard. I do wish we had planted more this past fall, but at least we have the ones from two years ago. They will be very pretty. I am also looking forward to starting to run again, after three years of sitting on my ass. I hope I can make it happen. I do love to run. I'd like to build back up to the mile I used to run. How peaceful and relaxing that was.

So I'm off to do some housework and relax and imagine myself stretching out on a sparkling white beach.....divine!